


The Bullet That You Asked For

by Synnerxx



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 02:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1587650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris blames himself. He should have seen this coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bullet That You Asked For

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tsukiori (tsuki_fics)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuki_fics/gifts).



> Written for tsukiori for multifan_gift.

Sometimes, when it's been a bad day, or the lead the BSAA has gotten turns up nothing, or they've lost people, Chris likes to torture himself a little more with the memories how how things used to be. Before the Mansion, before Umbrella was even a blip on his radar. Before Wesker betrayed them all, betrayed him. 

None of them saw it coming because there hadn't been anything to see. Wesker had hidden it all so well that not even Chris, the person closest to him, had suspected a thing.

It makes Chris sick to think of it now. How he had willingly fallen into the man's bed, how they had lived in each other's pockets, how it all be so easy for him. It makes him hate himself a bit for it all. That's part of the reason he searches for hard for Wesker, why he wants him dead and wants to be the one to do it. 

He wonders how he could have been so stupid because he was, despite what Jill and Barry tell him. He should have known, should have see this coming, seen something. Wesker had him fooled just as well as he had everyone else fooled. Chris thinks he should have been different. He was the one sleeping with the man after all. 

When he really wants to torture himself, he brings out the memories of him and Wesker together. Not just the sex, although that's how it started out, but also things like him getting out of the shower and getting dressed, going into the kitchen to find that Albert (No, Wesker, he's just Wesker now) had made them breakfast. 

He remembers how blue Wesker's eyes are behind those sunglasses, not gold and red like they are now. He remembers the way the man tastes and how he smells and how he looks when he orgasms. He remembers it all and, at the same time, he wishes he could forget it all because it aches and throbs and makes him hurt in ways he thought he left behind in Raccoon City, in the Spencer Mansion. 

The memories linger like a phantom touch on his mind, reminding him that he failed, that he's at least partly to blame for this for not seeing it sooner, for giving into Wesker, believing all his pretty little lies.

He can't shake the conviction that he should have known something, no matter what anyone else says. He was Wesker's right hand man in more ways than one. He should have known, should have done something, anything. 

As much as he wants too sometimes, and he really wants to, he never lets himself dwell too long on these memories because they only lead to a downward spiral and that's a long way down. He can't afford to fall that far, not yet anyway. There will be time for that later when he's no longer needed.

He puts the memories away one by one, packing them up in the neat little box he has for them in his head. It's not exactly the healthiest of ways to deal with this, but he doesn't care because it works and it allows him to do his job. 

He tries not to linger over the memories, but one in particular always stands out to him.

_He walks into Albert's office without knocking because he knows it drives the other man crazy and he knows he's the only one that can get away with it too. Wesker is sitting in his chair with his back to the door, on his cell phone._

_"No, William. I don't want to have to come down there, so you take care of it." He snaps, sounding angry._

_Chris shuts the door quietly behind him. He's heard the name William before, but only in passing._

_"You won't like it if I have to come there myself. Figure it out." Wesker hangs up before the other man has a chance to reply._

_He turns around and pauses when he sees Chris leaning against the door._

_"Trouble?" Chris asks mildly._

_"No." Wesker says, picking up his pen and looking down at the paperwork in front of him._

_Chris takes a seat on the edge of the desk. "Come on, it's almost time to go home."_

_"I have work to do." Wesker says, glancing up at Chris and frowning when he finds him on his desk._

_"You always have work to do." Chris complains, reaching out and taking Wesker's pen from him._

_"Comes with being Captain. Stop being a child and give me my pen." Wesker reaches out for it and Chris holds it just out of his reach, forcing Wesker to stand._

_Wesker leans over Chris to get his pen and Chris leans up, pressing against Wesker as best he can as he kisses the other man fiercely._

_He knows he's risking a lot by kissing Wesker in his office, like someone on the team walking in, but he doesn't care and he's pretty sure they all know anyway because there's nothing that's kept secret for long around here._

_Wesker kisses him back just as hard, one hand coming up and tugging lightly at Chris' hair, pulling his head back as his other hand reaches for the pen._

_Wesker pulls back with a smirk when he holds the pen in his hand and shakes his head at Chris. "Going to have to try better than that, Chris."_

_Chris is panting lightly and he grins, curls his hands in Wesker's shirt. "Come on, back to my place. We can continue what we started."_

_Wesker looks at him from over his glasses, studying him. He decides the paperwork can wait until tomorrow._

Chris sighs and shakes off the memories. His phone rings and he answers it curtly, listening to Jill tell him about the new information they had on Spencer. They were being sent out tomorrow to capture him. Chris ends the call quickly, not feeling like himself just yet. 

He puts that last memory away and gets into the shower. He has to wash them all off now. He needs to focus, to be the leader everyone needs him to be because if he isn't, he's going to lose it and that's not going to be pretty. 

He can do this. He has to do this.

He's got a job to do and failure isn't an option at this point. 

No matter who meant what to him in the past.


End file.
